


I'd Wait For You - a Lapidot week fic

by Melphis_Amekia



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Day 5, F/F, I promise, a lot of it, and day 2 into one fic, but there will be fluff too, but with non-canon events, in that order, it also combines day 3, it is set in the canon universe, lapidot week fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8644813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melphis_Amekia/pseuds/Melphis_Amekia
Summary: Lapis and Peridot are asked by Steven to accompany the Crystal Gems on a mission. Lapis refused at first, but she got a very bad feeling that this mission was not going to end well...





	1. She Is Worth What I Am Not

**Author's Note:**

> So, as it became apparent that the fic I wrote for Day 1 of the Lapidot week is something people other than me really love and would like it to continue, I decided to rename it from "Lapidot week fics" into "I'd Want You By My Side" and continue it on from there(so as not to separate future chapters from it). Additionally, I only have ideas and time for 3 other days of Lapidot week, and I've managed to combine them into one fic. It goes from Day 3: Protection, to Day 5: Family, to Day 2: Firsts. A lot of it was also inspired by this little comic you MUST read: http://mangaken.tumblr.com/post/153520604042/lapis-what-do-you-normally-do-when-im-gone 
> 
> I am sorry I am late with those days, but I hope you'll all like this fic anyways!

The distant sound of the warp pad barely registered for me. This part of the book was too engrossing to bother with who the visitor was - I was sure Lisa was near to finding her father, as she and Archimicarus were about to confront the one-eyed man - and Peridot could deal with whoever it was, anyway. I got to the scene where they open the hidden door in the throne room of the castle when I heard Steven’s voice from outside of the barn alongside Peridot’s and Veggie Head’s barking. Immediately, I left the book on the chair and flew outside, my eyes wide from the realization Steven was the visitor. He spotted me the moment I was out.

„Hey, Lapis!” Steven greeted me, cheerful as ever.

„Hey, Steven! What are you up to?” I asked. He didn’t notify us, as usual, that he was coming, and it was early morning, which made me pretty curious. Peridot was also looking at him intently.

„I came by really quick to ask you guys if you’d come with us on a mission!? Apparently, Garnet has noticed several new, powerful, corrupted gems have appeared on Mask Island. We could do it ourselves but it’d take us some time to confront them all, so I thought to ask you both for help, if you’d like to join?”

So, that’s what this was about. I straightened up, an uncomfortable feeling building up in me. No matter how much I turned the idea around in my mind, the answer was always no. I liked the idea of going on a mission with Steven and Peridot... but only with the two of them. I did not wish to be around the other three Crystal Gems. Memories of all the ages trapped in a mirror could not be forgotten so easily, nor forgiven. Tolerating their presence and being polite was the best I could do, but I preferred not to be around them as much as it was possible.

Peridot loved the idea a lot, given how she and Veggie Head were hopping around Steven like excited bunnies.

„This is going to be so great! The amazing Peridot is going to show those corruptions what it means to be a Crystal Gem!”

„Yeah! That’s the spirit!” Steven gave Peridot a high five.

„Yeah! I can’t wait. What do you say, Lapis? Let’s go kick some-” Peridot turned to me and stopped with whatever she was about to say. Instead, she simply asked, her expression a lot more sour than before:

„Lapis?”

„I am sorry, but I can’t come.” As much as I desired it anyway, just for them two... but, I couldn’t. What I needed was peace, and not more fighting of any kind. Steven moved to protest, but Peridot cut him off.

„It’s ok, Lapis. We’ll take care of this ourselves, right, Steven?” Peridot said, fake cheer in her voice. Steven looked first at me, then at Peridot, then repeated it, before nodding.

„We sure will. They won’t even have a chance against us!” he said, although less enthusiastically than before.

„I am sorry.” I said, took Veggie Head, and flew off from them, not waiting for their answer. As I was getting back in the barn, I heard Steven say:

„Come on, the others will be waiting for us on the Island!”

Then, there was the sound of the warp drive being activated, indicating that they were gone. I released a sigh, thanking both of them, but especially Peridot, for being not only being understanding, but also more compassionate than I ever deserved. It was still puzzling for me, how readily they wanted to help me, help anyone. I was still unused to it, even though it felt... nice. Comfortable.

My book was calling to me from where I left it on the chair. As I sat down to read it, however, I realized I was reading the same page over and over again for more than ten minutes. Not even petting and playing with Veggie Head The weight that was pressing me since Steven asked us to accompany him had not passed. In fact, not only could I not read out of anxiousness, I was pacing around the barn like Peridot when she was deep in thought, devising a new meep-morp. Not even petting and playing with Veggie Head helped. There was no reason for that - even I had to admit all of the Crystal Gems were more than competent in a fight, and nothing short of Homeworld Gems could actually fight them.

Jasper’s sneering face appeared as if she was right in front of me, shackles over our hands like we were Malachite again. I shuddered and closed my eyes and turned my balls into fists, trying to block my mind from whatever it was that I was experiencing. But, I couldn’t stop hearing her speak, although, instead of saying how she was going to use Malachite to destroy the Crystal Gems, Jasper spoke how I was never going to see the Crystal Gems after her trap worked, how I was going to stay always alone on Earth. Those poisonous words rang in my mind, fury welling up in me like lava. I screamed, tears prickling my eyes, and punched her right in the face. My fist connected with nothing.

I fell down to the ground, shaking like I was still imprisoned on the Green Hand ship. Quickly, I looked around, not seeing... whatever that was. Only Veggie Head was there, looking at me, partially scared and partially confused. I let out a sigh of relief, but it was a short-lived one. However crazy it sounded, I knew what was happening now and why I couldn’t rest easy.

Peridot and Steven needed my help.

I gave myself a minute to collect - I needed to be as calm as possible when I faced Jasper - before I rummaged the bottom floor of the barn for a weapon. Since she discovered her ferrokinetic powers, Peridot always carried small bits of metal should she ever need them. While they might have sufficed usually, she’d need something stronger if she was to fend off Jasper and whatever minions she controlled. After five minutes of searching, I found the perfect weapon for Peridot - a rather thin, sharp piece of metal, as long as my arm. Maybe I could have chosen something even bigger, but Peridot had little true practice with her powers. Even if she was stronger than she seemed to be, it was irrelevant if she couldn’t use it.

With the weapon packed, I locked the barn so Veggie wouldn’t go out and hurt itself and flew immediately to the warp pad and started warping myself to Mask Island. I was not surprised to find the Crystal Gems fighting with some huge, corrupted Gems, not to far away from the Island’s warp pad. Everything looked so standard, so expected, I almost dismissed the anxiety that was plaguing me and regretted coming there, before I took a closer look.

Peridot was not fighting amongst them.

Clod. I had no idea where to start my search. This island was unfamiliar to me, and, while it was relatively small, it was also fairly dense with forests and possibly caves. I had to know where I should start my search. There was also the possibility that Peridot got poofed or worse, but I refused to entertain that thought. I looked around to find Steven, but I couldn’t find him anywhere either.

Instead, amongst the three original Crystal Gems, a human was fighting with the sword and shield of Rose Quartz. They were defending themselves against one of the corruptions, deflecting every single attack with such speed and precision, I couldn’t help but be a bit impressed, despite the situation. Suddenly, the human changed tactics, and slid under the corrupted Gem with the shield before driving the sword through it and poofing it. They got up, took the Gem, and... _bubbled_ it? Oh...

I realized that was Stevonnie. I heard so much about them, the fusion of Steven and Connie, how great and amazing they were. This was a perfect demonstration of that - how something so unimaginable to the Homeworld could be amazing, in the end. But, I couldn’t stop my mind either from conjuring the image of Malachite and her monstrosity or the voice of an obedient Homeworld Gem whispering in my mind how wrong wrong wrong Stevonnie was. I may not have liked living on Earth, yet, but the Homeworld was far from the authority I took it for before.

And Malachite was something I would never, ever, let happen again.

„Stevonnie!” I called out, making them(and the rest of the Crystal Gems, although they resumed fighting because they were hard pressed by several corrupted Gems) turn around to see me. Their eyes widened when they saw me, and they ran up to me immediately.

„Lapis! What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t want to come? Also, um, sorry if our fusion is making you uncomfortable. We can unfuse if you want to.”

„No, it’s ok.” I lied... but it was a small lie. „I’m glad to finally meet you.” A truth. Stevonnie blushed a bit.

„I’m glad to meet you too. Now tell me why you came? We don’t have much time.”

„I had sort of a premonition, but that’s not what’s important! Where is Peridot?” I asked frantically.

„I think she ran off after some smaller corrupted Gem the the south.”

„Thank you, Stevonnie. I have to go find her immediately. I think something bad might happen to her.” Stevonnie nodded, with a smile on their lips and a determined look on their face.

„If you believe she’s in grave danger, then go after her. I won’t keep you any longer. Try and stay safe, ok?”

„I will. You should stay safe yourself, too. I wouldn’t like you to get hurt.” I was speaking more to Steven than Connie, since I didn’t know her, but it wasn’t hard to guess if she was hurt, Steven would be hurt too.

„Don’t worry about me now.” They said, shaking their head. „Go find Peridot!” With that, they left to join back the fight. I breathed in once, their words giving me encouragement, some of the tension leaving my body, summoned my wings, and flew south.

The trip took far longer than it would have if I hadn’t flown low, scanning every piece of land I could see through the trees in hopes of spotting Peridot. I had little luck in it - she was nowhere to be spotted or heard across the fly path I took. It was alarming. The island was relatively small, and there was a chance Peridot ran through, but I still didn’t like it one bit.

When I neared the southernmost beach, I heard the distant sounds of fighting. I increased my speed to get there as quick as possible - it could not be anything but Peridot fighting with something.

Or someone, as it were.

„You think you can fight me, you little runt?” Jasper’s voice was angry, dismissive, and loud enough for me to hear from a distance. She was riding one of her monstrous corrupted Gem’s, her focus completely on Peridot, who was lying against a tree, slightly disheveled but otherwise looking alright. I let out a sigh of relief.

„I can and I will!” yelled Peridot, bless her tiny, foolish heart. She should not have been fighting Jasper alone. I wanted to scoop her up and fly us both out of danger... but that was not a tactic that worked with Jasper. You either defeated her to at least buy some time, or you got chased by her relentlessly.

Jasper snorted. „You worthless little runt. You’re not even worth my time when I’ve got real enemies to face. You,” she commanded the corrupted Gem, „destroy her.”

„NO!” I yelled, finally close enough to enter the fight. A ball of water was ready to be used in a second, and oh was it satisfying to throw it onto Jasper and her monster. They ended up on the far side of the beach, landing with a satisfying thud. Turning to Peridot, I asked:

„Are you alright?”

She was looking at me with wide eyes, blinking like she didn’t believe I appeared, then jumped onto me and hugged me fiercely, as if she hadn’t seen me in days instead of less than two hours.

„Lapis! You came!” Her voice was full of wonder, and I couldn’t help myself when I nuzzled into her hug for a couple of seconds.

„Of course I did.” I said, pulling away from her. „But we don’t have much time. Here, I brought you this. It’s bound to be more effective than what you had on yourself.”

„Thank you.” she replied, clutching the metal bar in her hands.

„Oh, this is so pathetic. If I wasn’t looking at... _this_... with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it. A Peridot and a Lapis Lazuli, together... This place has corrupted you all. Just one more reason to destroy you.” Jasper got off her monster and summoned her helmet. „You,” she addressed the monster, „deal with Peridot. And I’ll deal with _you_.” She pointed at me menacingly.

Jasper pulled herself into a ball and descended onto me. I had just enough time to put up a strong enough water-wall to defend myself, although it felt like my heart stopped for a split second when it seemed like Jasper would not be stopped. I summoned more water to slap her away again, but this time she was ready and stood her ground, weathering my attack. She punched furiously at the water before she found an opening and lunged through it. I flew away upwards so she wouldn’t catch me quite so easily. Jasper jumped after me, beating through the water I was sending at her in defense, her face like one of those devil-masks I saw on the internet, depicting only determination and menace.

I don’t even know how long we fought like this - time didn’t matter in this brutal dance of flying around the beach and summoning water and Jasper smashing my defenses - before a metal bar hit Jasper lightly on her shoulder. We both looked in surprise at Peridot, who somehow managed to scare away the corrupted Gem she was fighting while Jasper and me were too focused on our own fight. The bar hit the sand with a little thud.

„Take that, you brute!” yelled Peridot. Jasper took the bar from the ground and flashed me an awful smile.

„I’ve got no idea how you managed to chase that thing off, but it’s actually commendable for a runt like you. It’s a shame there’s no hope for you to return your loyalties back to the Homeworld. You’d have been a lot more useful than I thought before.”

„I am _never_ going back to Homeworld, and _neither_ is Lapis!”

„I know. And you’re both in my way.” With that, Jasper threw the bar in the air, became a ball, and hit the bar with all her power straight at Peridot.

It was a split-second decision, calculated in that same amount of time. Peridot had no chance of dodging the bar, none at all. The water wouldn’t get there fast enough, as she was the farthest one of us from the edge of the beach. If I tried jumping on her to save us both, it would probably be too late. Letting her get poofed was less of an option and more like, if it was a written as a prophecy or something, I’d have burned it with glee and stomped on it.

But, I was close enough to jump right in front of her.

The pain, as the metal bar pierced through my midriff, was more excruciating than I thought it would be. I fell down on my knees, all of my senses leaving me swiftly. I recognized Peridot’s voice distantly yelling something. The voice came closer, and I opened my eyes again to see Peridot, on her knees, tears falling from her eyes like a waterfall.

„ _Why_ did you do this, Lapis? _Why_?” she asked, her voice painfully low. I shook my head. That was not important now. At least for the moment, I bought Peridot some safety. I had enough strength to ask her just one thing:

„Please, Peridot. Please, don’t let her take us from our home.”

Even with those tears flowing down her face and my eyes going blurry, I could see her face set into determination. It was the last thing I saw before I poofed.


	2. We Are Two But We Are One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is grieving, even though she knows Lapis will come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a very fast up8 by my standards. I might actually upd8 the last chapter in several hours, since it's not supposed to be a long one. If it does end up longer than anticipated, then I'll probably finish it tomorrow.
> 
> For Day 5: Family.

„Please, Peridot. Please, don’t let her take us from our home.”

Lapis’s words were ringing in my ears, overpowering all of my sense. My eyes were too blurry to see things clearly. Only Lapis’s dark blue gem was distinct in the pale beach sand... and Jasper, laughing in the distance. She was also saying something, but the cloud over my senses was as strong as Jasper and blocked it out. Not that it mattered. I had one shot at doing this properly and saving Lapis, and I wasn’t going to squander it. No one regarded me as much of a tactician, but I could prove them wrong, at least here.

The metal bar was still lying by the dark blue gem. I had to rely on surprise, again... but this time, it obeyed me without fault. I made no indication of moving as I checked carefully if I was fully in control of the bar. Satisfied, I waited, blankly staring at Lapis’s gem.

As predicted, Jasper stopped laughing and walked up beside me. She wasn’t lending her final blow yet, thankfully. I wanted to hear what she had to say about what she’d done before I gave her what she deserved. It wouldn’t be enough, but it would have to do.

„Look at you, broken by the sight of another gem getting poofed. I almost feel sorry for you, Peridot.”

„Is that all you have to say to me, _Jasper_?”

„Just one more thing. Will you come willingly home, now that you are defeated, or am I going to have to do the same thing to you that I did to Lapis.”

For as long as I could stall my answer, I did. I was calmer than any other time in my life, all the anger bottled up inside me ready to be unleashed when I let it out. I touched my visor and snorted.

„I will do neither.”

Jasper didn’t have time to react as the metal bar pierced through her side all the way through her. She shot me an utterly surprised look which looked comical as hell, given the situation. I turned to face her, so she would have a good look at me before she poofed.

„That was for Lapis, you monstrous CLOD!!!!”

She poofed at that same moment as I said it, and I immediately took her gem and bubbled it, not giving her even the slightest chance of reforming. I couldn’t stand the sight of it - I wanted her shattered, gone, something, anything! - but I knew I had to carry her to the rest of the Crystal Gems, since sending the bubble back would only make her appear at the barn.The best I could do was make it float beside my shoulder and try and forget about it.

With that out of the way, I slowly crouched and scooped Lapis’s gem up in my hands. Out of reflex, I gripped it hard, but I was aware enough to realize my mistake. I softened my grip and regarded the beautiful gem with tears in my eyes. It didn’t seem like I could stop crying, but I didn’t care.

I wanted Lapis back.

The sun had set rather low as I started my slow way back to the others. I didn’t take my eyes of Lapis’s gem, even when I was going through the forest. Somehow, I didn’t trip or run into a tree once. I’d have rejoiced at the luck I was having if it had happened less than an hour ago, but now, I just wanted... no, needed to get to my destination as quick as possible. Before I could get there myself, I was found by the others, whose voices I heard suddenly and rather violently.

„Peridot! Where have you been? What’s happened? Where is Lapi-?” asked Steven quickly, running up to me but stopping when he noticed my hands. He had the sense not to ask more questions, as did Connie and Garnet, although Pearl and Amethyst couldn’t keep their curiosity to themselves, apparently. At the same time, they spoke:

„What... happened, Peridot?” and „P-dot, what the fuck happened?”

I sighed, not wanting to speak of it at all(it was all too fresh), but they were going to keep bugging me about it, either immediately or later. The barest possible version was going to suffice.

„I chased after a smaller corrupted Gem to the southern beach. There, Jasper was waiting with one of her huge corrupted Gems. At first, I was trying to fight back, but it was useless, until Lapis came. She turned the tide of battle in our favor. I distracted the huge corruption and let her run away before I shot a metal bar which Lapis brought me at Jasper. She caught it and threw it back at me with a lot more strength than I managed. Lapis... j-jumped in front of me.” I sniffled, trying to keep my voice clear and calm,but her words - _Please, Peridot. Please..._ \- returned to me, and I couldn’t stop shaking, the pain of it forcing me to huddle into myself and shut my eyes. It was impossible to get back in control of myself now, but I kept on talking:

„L-later, I-I s-surpr-rised J-jasper w-with that s-same metal r-rod an-nd got h-her poofed. I... I...”

All at once, I felt hands and bodies press around me in a wordless hug. It was almost too much, too many body parts enveloping me, but it was comforting and nice and I was oh-so thankful for it. Unfortunately, it could only help so much, and it couldn’t bring Lapis. I don’t know how long we stayed there like that, but a decent amount of time had passed when we finally broke it.

„Wow, thanks.” I said, my voice still wavering a bit. Garnet smiled sadly at me.

„Let’s just get you home. I assume you also want to get rid of Jasper?”

„Get her out of my face.”

„Alright. Steven, Amethyst, Connie - accompany Peridot and Lapis to the barn. Me and Pearl are going to leave Jasper at the Temple.”

The trio that was supposed to accompany us to the barn nodded in unison. It was a short walk to the warp pad, silence enveloping us like a shroud, and Garnet and Pearl used it first before us(with Jasper in Garnet’s hand). The rest of us stepped on it the moment Garnet and Pearl left and teleported to the barn.

Seeing that the barn was completely fine was like a mountain-sized boulder getting off of my chest. I was finally sure that we were safe, now that we were home. I stepped of the warp pad and turned back to my companions.

„Thank you for accompanying me, my friends, but I want to be left alone, with Lapis, now.”

Amethyst came up to me first and gave me another hug.

„P-dot... I wish I could have been there to help. But Lapis will come back, don’t you worry, P. Just take good care of Lapis, OK?”

Connie came second, looking at me timidly.

„I haven’t known you or Lapis much, but it was clearly obvious you both mattered to each other a great deal. If we as Stevonnie weren’t so distracted with our fight, we would have helped you kick Jasper back into the ocean. I am so sorry we couldn’t join your fight. Um... can I hug you again? I think you need it a lot.” I nodded, and this little human girl hugged me fiercely as if I was one of her precious friends. She was truly as amazing as Steven portrayed her.

Last one was Steven, who was already crying like one of his _Crying Breakfast Friends_.

„I hate seeing you like this. I could have stopped Lapis from being poofed and you from getting hurt. It’s not fair, and don’t you try to deny it. I hope, at least, Lapis will recover soon. I know you’ll take the best care of her!” His hug stirred up the most feelings in me, and I cried again onto his shoulder. He was, after all, my first and best human friend I have ever made.

We said our goodbyes - they respectfully did it quickly, since I didn’t desire company right now - and I unlocked the barn and entered it. Veggie Head was sleeping in its little bed, thankfully. I loved the creature a lot, but I didn’t want to have been jumped on suddenly at this moment. Explaining Lapis’s current situation would be complicated, and I’d rather have to do it later. I climbed up the ladder to the upper part of the barn to where we moved the couch and the TV. It took a bit of rummaging, but I found a couple of soft scarves and other cloth to make a little, comfortable pile for Lapis.

For now, it would have to do.

\-------

It has been five days since the fight. I was sitting in the hard, wooden floor in my alien shorts and a white t-shirt. The cold wasn’t the problem - I couldn’t feel cold, ever - but it gave me a bit of comfort.

Lapis still hadn’t reformed.

Currently, I was watching the seventh epizode of season four of Camp Pining Hearts. The barn around me was already covered in a thin layer of dust; all the meep morps, finished or not, were sitting there, as useless as me in a fight. Everything was dull to me, even the episodes I’ve been watching since we returned. Steven and Amethyst visited me once and tried to cheer me up. I humored them for a while before they left and I continued vigil. Garnet also came by to watch a couple of episodes with me in silence. Of course she knew I needed some space, but I guess she wanted to show her support. Pearl showing up was a surprise, and she didn’t stay long, but it was a nice feeling, at the time. Every time they left, I assured them I also had Veggie Head and that we weren’t alone with our little pumpkin in our home.

Lapis still hadn’t reformed.

It was not rational that I felt like this at all. I knew she would reform in her own time, and her gem was not visibly hurt anywhere. No matter what my relationship with Lapis was, I should have been able to pick myself up and do anything while waiting for her to reform. Nothing should have been shackling me, sapping up my energy and will, the same way Malachite shackled Lapis.

Suddenly, the episode where one background character becomes devastated after their partner got severely injured, made a lot more sense.

That was a completely different episode to this one, though. I loved this one a lot - Percy and Pierre were having such amazing romantically-subtexted conversations in it. I became engrossed into the episode; it was one of my all-time favorites.

„Hey, Lapis, look! This part is amazing!” I spoke, completely forgetting in the moment that she was still poofed. When she didn’t respond, I tried again:

„Lapis?” I took a glance at my right, and when I saw her gem lying in its little nest, everything came back to me.

I laid down on my back, unable to watch more of CPH. My eyes were closing of their own accord. The exhaustion that was building up in my was taking its toll, and while I could shrug it off and rest while awake, sleep sounded like the purest bliss now. Still, I wanted to keep on watching after Lapis, even though I knew she was safe... but, sleep took over me the last time I closed my eyes.

\---------

Bright light flashed in front of me, almost strong enough for me not to be able to see through my visor after the light woke me up. Finally, _FINALLY_ , Lapis was reforming, her usual shape slowly appearing in front of me. In a few seconds it was over, and Lapis Lazuli was standing in front of me again, smiling like everything was fine. All the time I was waiting, I gave it no thought to what I would do when she did return. Now that she was in front of me, I realized everything was still not fine, and that I did know what to do.

I got up and slapped her as hard as I could.

„Don’t you ever do that again, Lapis! Don’t you ever try and sacrifice yourself for me again! I am not worth it, Lapis. I am not worth the chance that you could get shattered.” With each word I said, my yelling subsided until it became a whisper, and my kness gave under me and I was clutching her legs fiercely and I was sobbing into the bottom of her dress. It disappeared suddenly, however, and I almost fell over before strong hands caught me by my body and laid my head on a shoulder, embracing me. I looked up and saw Lapis, sitting beside me, our faces oh-so close.

„You are worth it to me, Peridot!”

„But why? I am just a tiny era-2 Peridot. My powers are weak, I am weak, you saw that, I couldn’t even scratch Jasper while having all the time in the world to prepare an attack. On missions, I am always relatively useless, best used as a distraction while the real fight is left to those who have actual fighting capabilities. Not only that, I was one of your original captors! I kept you imprisoned and would have used you to deal with the Crystal Gems with little remorse! And the only thing I’ve been doing since we started living here is making you make meep morps and dragging you to do things you barely care about. I’m-”

Lapis put one finger over my lips, cutting me off of my tirade. I looked at her questioningly.

„I’ve let you go on long enough, I think. Listen, Peridot.” She tightened her embrace. „You are not weak. I am here, with you, in our home, and we’re both safe! I knew you could do it, the same way I knew I couldn’t do the same thing.”

„Huh? No way, you’re stronger than Jasper.” She looked away from me and shook her head.

„I don’t think I thought it at the time, but I wasn’t using my powers nearly to my full extent. I was holding back, because, even though the thought of her hurting us was revolting, _me_ hurting _her_ was almost as revolting as that. Eventually, I would have let her defeat me and hope you would get away before that happened. I have hurt her enough already.”

I made an O-shape out of my mouth, my surprise evident. With a little bit more thinking, it made a lot of sense. Lapis laughed and booped me on my nose.

„You’ve disrupted my plan, though, and I think it was for the better. Besides, I wouldn’t miss out on working on more meep morps with you. That would be preposterous.” She winked at me, and I felt my whole body relaxing in a way that sort of felt strange after being so pent up for the last five days. It was so good to be back in Lapis’s arms again.

There was one question at the back of my mind, though, that demanded an answer. I looked at Lapis seriously.

„Um, Lapis?”

„Yes?”

„Do you think... it would have been a good idea to fuse... and fight Jasper? I almost asked you for it when we were back there, and it would have made things easier.”

Lapis’s expression darkened. Shit. That wasn’t what I wanted! I was about to make a joke out of the question when she started speaking in a much softer voice than I expected to hear.

„At that moment, it wouldn’t have been a good idea. The fusion would have been too volatile, too unstable, with the mess that I was in that moment. Between me hating Jasper but not wanting to hurt her, my complicated feelings for the Crystal Gems, my feelings for you...” She cleared her throat. „I also haven’t realized some things before, that have now settled into me with this... break.”

Lapis turned fully back to me, and our faces were now even closer, so much so barely a sheet of paper could fit in the space between us.

„Peridot... you are the one I want to spend my whole life with. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I’d ever have felt at home here. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have cared for what happened around me and just tried to survive, not even live, just survive day by day as if I was still imprisoned. You have given me so much and I repaid you with so little, you amazing, lovable meep morp of a Gem. I want to spend my life with you and I want us three(and Steven!) to be a family... if you want it too, Peridot?” she asked uncertainly.

„Do I want it to?” I asked, incredulous as a child being asked if it wanted candy. My brain was working overclock on things to say when I got an even better idea how to answer her.

I performed what humans called „a kiss” - I pressed my lips against Lapis’s soft, soft lips, and pulled back. This was a simple one, since I knew kisses encompassed a lot more than what I did, but I thought this one fit the best.

„Lapis, it would be a dream come true.


	3. Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a bit rough - it would probably do with some editing and beta-reading, but I really wanted to finish this fic. Even though it's a very short last chapter, I hope you'll like it ^^
> 
> For Day 2 of lapidot week 2: Firsts

The sound of drums being played reverberated throughout the barn. I was lying down on top of the silo, enjoying listening to Peridot practice the instruments. As of recently, she had decided she needed to master each of her instruments before focusing back on playing all of them. With no knowledge of music, I didn’t know how good of an idea that was, although it might have been. Peridot was getting pretty decent at the drums, at least.

I found myself lulling my head to the beat of the drums. It was good music to dance to - rhythmic and pleasant, a nice, simple melody. A long time had passed since I last danced, and it was with Jasper of all people. The want built up in as fast as the human superhero character Flash ran, especially because it was Peridot who I wanted to dance with. I almost flew down to the barn and scooped her up the second this came over me... and then I remembered what could be the result of us dancing.

The memories of Malachite were still vivid for me. I could just about touch the ghosts of chains that I held Jasper with, feel the edges of her thoughts and emotions, the strength we had as one. Just the thought of ending up like that with Peridot was disgusting; what made it worse was that it would be so easy. My power was a storm to her drizzle... I could easily command our fusion the way I saw fit. But... in no world could I imagine myself doing that to her, to us.

This time, I wanted it, and would not be forced into it.

I descended from the silo and softly entered the barn. Peridot was sitting at her drums, right in the middle of the barn. She stopped playing when she noticed my approach and winked.

„Hey, Lapis. Did you come here to check out the amazing Peridot?”

„Sort of. I came here because I wanted to dance.” Peridot immediately raised an eyebrow, her expression concerned.

„But, doesn’t that carry the possibility of us becoming a fusion?”

„I am more than OK with that, Peridot. I want us to dance, and whatever happens, happens.” I gave her a reassuring smile; she nodded in return. We searched for a good song to dance to on the „laptop”. We didn’t need it, since dancing was literally one of the functions Gems were made for. After watching so many videos(so many!) of humans dancing to different music, I couldn’t help but wonder why no Gem thought of adding music to dancing. In the end, we settled with one of our most recent favorites and set it to play.

I held out my hands in front of me, waiting for Peridot to take them. The moment her small, rough hands were in mine, I spun her right into my embrace, her body making a perfect arc even with the obvious surprise. More softly, I spun her out, though not all the way out. She was close enough for me to put my right hand behind her back and lead the next several steps. With each move, I could feel Peridot become more comfortable, her grip relaxing and her steps more confident. It let me focus less on leading and more on just... dancing.

The world disappeared for me. I was only aware of Peridot, her emerald green eyes, each electrifying touch of our bodies, her cute lips. It was not more a question of who lead the dance or what were we even dancing - steps and spins and freestyling and dipping interchanged randomly, as we liked it. Humans called this state as a „trance”, if I recalled it correctly. It was beautiful and amazing, just as much as the tiny gem in my arms was.

As the song came to an end, I dipped Peridot one last time, our bodies so close no one would have been able to recognize which was which.

„That... was... amazing. You... were... amazing.” said Peridot, her breath erratic from the exercise.

„It really was.” I replied, realizing how true it was. The whole spectrum of emotion that was in the background during our dance struck me now overwhelmingly. The urge to hug Peridot could not be stopped, and I embraced her as if we were on a broken boat in a storm, clinging for our lives.

A bright light blazed around us.

My mind became a mess, like I contained two people instead of just one. I looked down on myself; I was no longer either green or blue, but teal in color. At the same time, I panicked like I made some huge mistake and brought one hand to my forehead. I felt the triangle shape of a gem on it and smiled broadly. The other half of me, the Peridot half, quietened down, even though I started crying. We both knew they were happy, happy tears; This was everything we both wanted out of our fusion and more.

„Thank you.” I said, finally whole.

**Author's Note:**

> I also have a Lapidot playlist in the works, which I hope I'll fill in completely tomorrow!


End file.
